January 2012
tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think you're clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying niece and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor-
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
December 2011
I don’t know why, but today seems like it’s gonna be a great day :)
whenfeathersfall replied to your post: Are you an only child?
And Ashlyn, the sister she wishes she had haha :) I can’t wait to go to escuela with my much beloved Amber
Baaaaaaaby!!! Yes!!! Haha you have no idea how excited I am for you to come to CSU! It’s gonna be the best thing ever!!!
glitterthighs:
Katy Perry - E.T. (guy version)
...
Reblog if you have never kissed someone on new...
brttnywht asked: Are you an only child?
Why can't you magically pop into my room with me...
what concert costs 45 cents?
jingleofthedead:
kreedkafer:
50 cent feat. nickelback
oh my god
omg
I love how no one pays attention to any of my actual posts, just the shit I reblog.
I'm thinking of making a blog dedicated to...
1 tag
When you hug a boy and they pick you up.
amberelizabeth:
Anonymous asked: What's the most notes you've ever gotten on a post?
Operator: 911, please hold.
Me: Stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
Murderer: ok
I feel like Phil Collins and Robin Williams look like twins
straight guys: boobs are great
gay guys: boobs are great
straight girls: boobs are great
gay girls: boobs are great
